You have captures the flow of the pose very well! As far as I can see, the body proportions are all accurate. Although it is not the focus of the drawing, I really like the hands. Regarding improvement: I assume the outlines are so thick because you made many lines to find the right spot. You could save a bit of time and make the sketch more straight forward looking by ghosting the lines first. If you don't know the term, you can look it up, it is a generally used term. In short it means that you make the line first a little bit above the paper, i.e. you do not make the line yet. This helps to find the right location for a line.
You're right about the thickness of my lines, I do make a lot of lines to find the one I like, I will put in practice the ghost lines technique and see how it goes.
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You're right about the thickness of my lines, I do make a lot of lines to find the one I like, I will put in practice the ghost lines technique and see how it goes.