What is wrong with this gesture sketch? (reference photo)

Hi folks,

I've been trying to practice gesture sketches for about 2 months now, but am making no progress. I tried to include all the necessary components like drawing the line of action and attached the shoulders, ribcage, pelvis to it. It's a bit hard to tell because my scanner didn't pick those lines up, but it's there. http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/Gesture-Sketch-001-650013389?ga_submit_new=10%253A1481161263 I will try to reupload another one done in sketch so it's easier to see.

The one on the left was around 2 min and the one on right took about 30s and the one in pen is similar to the pencil sketches. My reference was taken from here (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/bb/a9/8cbba900481c5c2be190465c1c97f895.jpg).

Hi
First I would say the ref photo did not help you because the black tight (any black clothing) flatens the form, i.e. You can no longer see where there are muscles undulating under the skin. Compare her bare torso with her legs and you'll see what I mean. Then this model is too skinny for someone who is beginning, try to find a more fleshed out model for the time being, you'll find it easier. Not that very skinny models are no good, they are just more challenging. Make it easier on yourself for now.
The other problem is artistic anatomy. You need to know the points of insertion of muscles and draw the slight bulge of each muscle until it connects to the next muscle or bone by a tendon. For instance from the shoulder you'll draw the deltoid until it meets with the biceps in the front or the triceps in the back, and so on along the body, same thing for the torso and the legs.
Third point: the bulges formed by muscles on either sides of the arms and legs are never opposite each other but in diagonal to each other. They also never go in the same direction. If you look at a master drawing you'll see that clearly. When the muscle shapes are properly placed you can a draw a zigzag line inside an arm tracing from bulge to bulge.
Sorry if this is hard to understand, but it's the best I can do without drawing it for you.
Congratulations on your attemps, it's hard at the beginning, dont give up if you find it difficult, you'll eventually get the hang of it. Practice with books or some youtube videos.
Best to you

Would you be willing to show us one of your earliest gesture drawings?

Gladly but how ? I can't find a wway to download a pic

You can just post a link to the image of your drawing like you did in your first post. :)

Sorry but I'm not going to download yet another app. ... no more space. I'll upload some pics on my Facebook page and send you the link when I'm done.

Loulou, I was actually asking pdlw to show us their work from 2 months ago.

Hi Kim. Here are some sketches I did back in October.

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/001-650172019?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=6

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/002-650172331?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=5

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/003-650172985?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=4

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/004-650172366?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=3

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/005-650172377?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=2

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/006-650172389?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=1

Thanks for your suggestions Loulou. I gestured a more full-figured model and ones without any black clothes. You're right. I was so focused on gesture that I didn't even notice that the black clothing impeded the overall shape and contours. I tried some more sketches:

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/007-650191524

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/008-650191540?ga_submit_new=10%253A1481252236

Because these poses were a bit easier, I can kind of feel the "attitude" of the poses, although not captured quite accurately.

Hi there pdlw, now I'm by no means a professional, take everything I have to say with a grain of salt.

And I should point out that I'm not critiquing, just a suggestion from someone that's also just starting out.

When going through your gestures on your first post, I noticed that you use a lot of separate, or 'chicken scratchy' lines, and when I first started out doing quick simple gestures, I found trying to not lift up my pencil and adding more of a curve to my lines helped with fluidity a lot.

Please correct me if I'm wrong!

Hi pdlw!

I think Ay.Spies has a good idea there. :) Gestures really benefit from smooth, simple lines. Quick short strokes tend to make it more difficult. Trying to recreate a figure by using as few lines as possible with simple shapes (C and S lines, circles, boxes, triangles) is a good approach to narrow a figure down, and see what shapes define the motion and 'energy' in poses. Is that something you could perhaps try?

Edit: Check out this user's suggestions! https://line-of-action.com/forums/topic/first-critique-request/#post-8905

Hello,

I would recommend you to try this book : https://www.amazon.com/Force-Dynamic-Life-Drawing-Animators/dp/0240808452

or here http://miaoqizhu.com/resources/Force_Dynamic_Life_Drawing_for_Animators.pdf

This book can be a bit brutal and harsh but is honest to the core.
I have gained a lot from this one.

@Ay.Spies, Sanne, Janeel:

I was actually waiting for someone to point out my messy chicken scratch haha. Thanks for the advice, and know that I'm taking it to heart. Thank you Janeel for the recommendation, I will remember it and look into it. In the meantime, please take a look at some sketches I did recently. Notice how I failed at the chicken scratch again lol, but I think I'll slowly get there with some more practice :)

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/Gesture-1-654193756?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=0

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/Gesture-2-654193849?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=2

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/Gesture-3-654193942?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=1

http://pdlw3.deviantart.com/art/Gesture-4-654194411?q=pdlw3%2F61307003&qo=3