Messages du forum par Mysty Nyx

I've been going through something similar to you for a while now. A complete and utter block towards art and drawing that's not actually caused by something relating to art, but rather, mental health. I have had panic attacks when I've tried to draw a few times because of the intense, originless anxiety that would consume me. When art is a comfort, it's difficult when it feels like it's being taken away by something completely outside your control. If anything, it feeds into even more negative emotions and it becomes a self-feeding cycle.

The best thing for this (that you can do by yourself, anyway) is self forgiveness, which I understand is easier said than done. It's easy to give grace and understanding to a friend struggling with this kind of thing, but it's not so easy to give that same kindness to yourself. Especially when dealing with a monster like depression that might be saying you don't deserve it or there's no point. Try to give yourself that kindness regardless though. You very clearly care about your art, otherwise you wouldn't be here seeking advice. You want to continue improving and creating despite what you're going through. That's admirable, and it's not your fault that you're struggling with it. It's the depression.

However, if it has become this difficult, I think a form of self forgiveness you can give yourself is to let go of trying to improve right now, as hard as it is to do that. Not forever, just temporarily. If it feels like everything you draw right now sucks, then ok. If you're like me and a little bit of spite helps lift your mood, you can purposely draw art you think looks aweful. Basically, try to find a way to draw without any expectations. If it looks amazing, cool. If it looks like a five year old holding a pencil for the first time, cool. Just be proud that you picked up your pencil today (or whatever art implement you use). If you can't even do that today, that's cool too. You tried. Be proud of that, and understand that the fact you tried even when you feel like this is amazing in itself. When you feel a bit better, you'll be able to do more. Look forward to that.

As I mentioned, I've been dealing with this myself. Actually, I've been struggling with coming to terms with the fact that I'm disabled and sometimes just can't do what I love or even need to because of it for a while now. It's infuriating to be staring my notebook with a pencil in hand and not even be able to lay a mark down because of reasons outside my control. It's infuriating to not be able to fill sketchbooks like I did in high school. It's difficult to not feel like "I'm just not trying hard enough" and "everyone else can do it, why can't I" even as I spend hours doing just that. Trying. That's why self forgiveness is so, so important when dealing with this. It's a skill that needs to be learned and built upon, just like how we build up our understanding of the human body with figure drawing. Keep working on it. I'll be here, working on it too.