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Hi everyone,
I'm supposed to be a comic artist (I stopped working to be a full-time illustrator in 2021, I'm french), but the fact is that I can't draw comics anymore. I've submitted some projects for two years : first year, I've been told I wasn't good enough and should get someone to draw my scenario by a professional artist, and this year I managed to show my work to two major french editors who were hyped by my project. The problem ? Graphism again. So they are not wrong with a drawing weakness apparently. They told me the story was good. The graphism was uneven in a way, but they were defintely some really good ideas, in particular with the tone, the camera views and the story itself. They kept my projects saying : improve.
The fact is that I draw litteraly every day to improve my work. I sell my illustrations, I draw commissions, I make some posters for events... But I can not draw comics anymore. I'm stuck. I feel like it worth nothing. I recently read my roughs again, and they are good, there are so many people saying that "it will work", "one of my favorite story" (from a scenarist teacher, well-known in France), and "when it will be time it will be great" (I've a lot of family supports). I've followed a two year courses of comic drawing, but it was a loss of time and money. The teachers were not kind and out-subject, the director was a pure pain, most of the time it felt like kindergarden... Some professional artists I've met are not sweet, but that's ok as it gives valuable "impartial" feedbacks (some of the artists are haters, but that's ok).
I just feel like it's not worth it, that my story are not good enough to be told. I'm afraid I won't make it. Cause it scares me to be at my desk for anything else than a "one shot illustration". I keep ont trying different style (mainly digitial but traditional with china ink, fine line etc) and read about 3 comics a week (let's say graphic novels, comics, french-style comics, mangas).
I've everything an human needs to be happy : but I can't f* make it...
I've not the social skills to benefit from others (I doubt when someone say my work is good - sometimes I'm estonished when someone buy from me, that's just awkard when the person is at my table looking at me looking at him/her with a "what are you doing, why are you here and why are you buying, you should be desoriented, can I help you ?" stare.), and I just can't reach this one professional scenarist teacher who told me she would be ok to work with me on my project... I'm afraid of being used... well... wary, self-depreciative, despairing, no value...
Aside, I ve got one artist friend who is a skilled artist - we met at art school, but he lives far from me : his style won't match my ideas, but I work with him building a good scenario for his project. And I think I'm good at it. Helping others. But I can't do it for myself it appears ?
Please, help.
How can I succeed...
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Kim
edited this post on April 19, 2024 6:41pm.
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