I think your foreshortening actually looks really good with placement and everything; it is just the shapes you are using to block them in that make it a little harder to discern. Like I really love the kick drawing on the second page. I would recommend doing a few studies, just taking a page to look at references of each individual body part; arms, legs, hands... So this means you trace images of each part, copy down artist's simplified muscle diagrams, and do some figure drawing. It sounds like a lot, but it can be pretty fun.
Like for example, the lower part of the legs you have drawn. You have an oval, same at the top and bottom and from each angle. This can be good for blocking in poses, but I find it easier to imagine it as a cylinder. Then, I add on the muscles on the inside and outside of the leg, and I know the outside starts at a higher point than the inside (Sorry, I'm blanking on muscle names). And from the side, the shins make the lower leg pretty flat, and it curves down to the foot and bumps out at the knee. And eventually, you'll be able to draw it from memory without using all the guides. Just making observations like that, looking at muscle groupings, should help.
Another example is with your torso that diagrams and tracing should help; when an arm is raised, the trapezius(between the neck and the delts/shoulders) raises with it, the torso isn't always just a triangle.
I hope this makes sense:)
Try to see the hair as a whole and just focus on the details, if that makes sense. Try looking at the reference and blurring your eyes to block in the lightest and darkest values first, before focusing on the details. And instead of trying to draw in the direction of the curls like on the top of the head, try to use the negative space to show where they are. With the strands that you have, if you think about it, the values should be inverted; the spaces in between those strands will be darker and the squiggly parts you see are highlighted. Also, this method of shading makes it appear as though the hair has different textures; the direction of your shading is important as well. Like on the front bottom of the hair like underneath the bangs, it is shaded with straight lines, but the top of the head is squiggly lines.
