10 min, Pencil

Hello! For a 10 min piece, I'd recommend to use the first 3 or 5 minutes laying out the proportions of your models until you get them right. You can use a light pencil for that. Don't need to rush into rendering your drawing. It's more beneficial to learn to get your foundations right than going into minor details first. Think of it as a training, not portfolio pieces.

Your painting is creative! I think you can reduce some redundant lines to make it look more simple and easy for people to understand what you wanna express~ More practice and creation can help. Progress requires a progress.